Bison Express hits the buffers

Bison 1 Manchester Phoenix 5

26/11/11

Bison’s magnificent run of 6 straight wins came to a shuddering halt last night with a painful reverse against the reigning EPL title holders, Manchester Phoenix. Despite outshooting their opponents by 38-24, Bison failed to capitalise due in no small part to a goaltending super show by Steve Fone, who picked up the Phoenix man of the match award, edging out Tom Duggan who smashed a hat-trick. The match was, however, spoiled by a shameful piece of gamesmanship by Ladislav Harabin. More about that later.

Having hammered 14 goals in last weekend’s games, it looked like Bison’s hot scoring streak was going to continue to infinity and beyond when Canadian colossus, Steve Moria, hammered Bison into a 1-0 lead after only 37 seconds. Joe Miller challenged for the puck on the boards, enabling Daniel Volrab to pick it up, skate behind the net and rifle an inch perfect pass to the bandana wearing Moria lurking at the back door. Perhaps Fone was momentarily distracted by Mo’s Movember mo (and very impressive it is if I may say so) as he failed to stop the shot. The crowd jumped to their feet in unison, many waving their arms in the air like so many Hydra (O-level biology). Alas for Bison Fone spent the next 59 minutes catching, blocking, deflecting and swallowing the puck to ensure that Moria’s goal was the only goal of the night for the home icemen.

Phoenix levelled it on 5 minutes, Tom Duggan broke clear and bore down on Matt Colclough in the Bison goal. At that moment Matt must have wished that he possessed the bulk of Oliver Hardy, but alas he is closer in shape and size to Stan Laurel.  Duggan fired high. It was 1-1. Assists to Neil and Cingel. Less than 2 minutes later Duggan put Phoenix ahead with his second. Bison were caught in a 2 on 1 between Duggan and Ryan Johnson. Ward was awarded the second assist.

Bison had an excellent opportunity to get back on level terms when Chris Wiggins burst through the Phoenix defense. He was brought down by a slash from Johnson, but he still managed to get off a shot as he fell headlong to the ice like a factory chimney demolished by Fred Dibnah. To the box went Johnson.

In the last minute of the 1^st Joe Miller picked up a slashing penalty which carried over into the second. 17 seconds into the 2^nd Martin Cingel joined him in the box also for slashing. During the resultant 4 on 4 Phoenix increased their lead. An import fuelled move with Jaroslav Spelda and Slava Koulikov enabled Duggan to complete his hat-trick. 2 minutes later it was 1-4 with returning Bison old boy, long Ciaran Long, scoring an unassisted goal.

Marcel Petran, the Slovak cannon, then took a seat for high sticking and during the resultant power play Phoenix D-Man Harabin hammered home a rocket of a slap shot from the blue line. Colclough must have hoped that the post had come to his rescue as he heard that characteristic PING sound of rubber against metal. Alas the puck deflected into the net rather than out and the scoreboard clicked on to 1-5. It was getting depressing.

There then occurred the talking point of the entire game and an incident which most of the Bison crowd regarded as outrageous play acting worthy of an Oscar on the part of Harabin. Chris Wiggins slipped the puck past the Slovak defenseman, who tried to obstruct his path by leaning into him. Wiggie gave Harabin a shove and the defenseman crashed into the boards. Yes it was boarding. Yes it was an infraction. It should have been 2 minutes in the box. However, Harabin made such a meal of it, making his injury look much worse than it was, and the referee was conned into imposing a 5 + game penalty on Wiggins. OK Harabin did crash heavily into the boards and was hurt, but he definitely exaggerated his injury, particularly when leaving the ice bent over double and holding his head in both hands as if he was nursing the mother of all hangovers. Without the need for a single Asprin or “hair of the dog” he was back on the ice for his next shift completely recovered from what he made out to be as serious a head injury as the one which kept Sidney Crosby out for the best part of a year. Strange that!

Suffice it to say that the Bison players weren’t buying Harabin’s play acting and were incensed at the Wiggins punishment. Harabin’s card was marked. With only seconds of the period remaining, the savvy Slovak, Viktor Kubenko, sliced through a static Phoenix defense, deked in front of Fone and shot against the post. In the ensuing melee Harabin slashed and Nicky Chinn hooked. The Bison skipper then confronted Harabin, eager to make known his views concerning the latter’s conduct. Incredibly, Harabin immediately turtled, throwing himself to the ice faster than a petulant child and adopting the foetal position with his hands covering his head. In the First World War they used to shoot people for cowardice in the face of the enemy. Luckily for Harabin this was only a game of hockey and a firing squad was not required, although, had it been, there would have been plenty of Bison fans saying, “Give me a rifle.” Widely regarded as one of the best, maybe even THE best, defenseman in the EPL, Harabin showed himself to possess the gamesmanship of a premiership footballer and the courage of a fluffy kitten.

Bison pressed hard in the 4^th, outshooting Phoenix by 14-8 and trying to at least bring a semblance of respectability to the scoreline, but Fone stood as solid as a rock. By pressing forward they left themselves a little thin at the back on occasions, allowing Phoenix a couple of breakaway chances. The first fell to James Archer (no relation to Jeffrey as far as I am aware). In attempting to lift the puck top shelf past Colclough he succeeded in spooning it way over the glass and into the safety net. The second fell to Duggan, looking for his 4^th goal of the night, but on this occasion Colclough was equal to it, stopping Duggan’s wrist shot with his pad.

Not a night to enjoy for the Bison faithful.

Call the RSPCA - Cruelty to Wildcats

Bison 7 Swindon Wildcats 2

20/22/11

The word “wildcat” conjures up images of a vicious wild animal with sharp claws and teeth tearing strips of flesh from the blood soaked carcass of some poor unfortunate prey, ruthlessly pursued and murdered by driving needle sharp incisor teeth into the hapless animal’s neck. (Sorry I’m getting carried away). Alas for the Swindon fans who made the trip, the Wildcats who turned up at Planet Ice tonight were more akin to fluffy kittens rolling over to have their tummies tickled and meowing for saucers of milk. Bison showed no mercy, running riot with another 7 goals to end a goalfest weekend. After Nicky Chinn’s hat-trick at Slough on Saturday night, Daniel Volrab repeated the feat here tonight. Someone should have called the RSPCA.

It took only 4 minutes of the game for Bison to romp into a 2-0 lead. In the third minute Volrab waltzed around the back of the goal, emerged wide of the back door and flicked home a back handed shot from close range. Assists went to Tosh Redmond, possessor of only one front tooth, and the Slovak Cannon, Marcel Petran. Within a minute it was 2-0. This time savvy Slovak, Viktor Kubenko, bulged the net from a Kurt Reynolds pass.

On 12 minutes, the scoreboard clicked onto “Home 3” following some relentless Bison forechecking in the offensive zone. Swindon were unable to clear their lines. Canadian colossus, Steve Moria, receiving a pass form Joe Miller, deked in front of goal, bamboozling the Wildcat netman Murdy, and fired high.

Within a minute it was 4-0. This time the scorer was Liam Chong. An inch perfect and well timed mid ice pass from Kubenko, enabled Chong to race clear and lift a back hander high into Murdy’s net. Red light man behind the goal illuminated his bulb. The Wildcats were now looking rather tame and highly vulnerable, even when on a power play. Nicky Chinn had been sent to the miscreants’ compound for tripping and, during the resultant power play, Kubenko broke clear, fluffed his shot but regained possession, then passed to the lurking and ever dangerous Petran, whose slap shot was saved. A short handed goal to make it 5-0 then would have sent the Wilcats well and truly out of the cat flap. However, they survived the remaining 7 minutes of the period without conceding and indeed looked a lot better in the second. They shut out Bison and reduced the arrears a minute before the end of the period with a slap shot goal from Nicky Watt. Assists went to the shaven headed Joe Baird (OK I couldn’t actually see that as he had a helmet on) and one half of the “Bouncing Czech” duo, Michal Pinc (pronounced pinch not pink). Swindon should have scored 7 minutes earlier than this, but incredibly failed to capitalise on a 2 on 0. Bearing down on goal, Aaron Nell must have thought “Even my grandmother could score here.” She would have, but he didn’t. Was he shooting at the moon? His wild shot was so inaccurate that it didn’t even hit the glass, flying high into the netting above. Oh dear!

Bison needed another goal to get their momentum going again and it took only 45 seconds of play in the third to bag that vital goal. Miller fed Moria, whose cross ice pass set up A-man/D-man, Sam Oakford, to drive a rising slap shot high into Murdy’s stringbag, Petran style but without the jazz hands.

Less than a minute later a delayed penalty for checking from behind was called on Wildcat Sam Bullas. Bison goaltender, Matt Colclough, skated  at top speed towards the bench as if pursued by an axe murderer with a rabid hatred of netminders, enabling Bison to bring on an extra skater for a 6 on 5. They cleverly kept possession of the puck, moving it forward from behind their own goal line. Daniel Volrab made the one man advantage pay, scoring his second of the night for 6-1. Assists to Chinn and Harris, who had started the move. Bullas received a 2 + 10.

On 47 minutes an unseemly altercation of the most unpleasant variety involving Kurt Reynolds and the ever niggly Nicky Watt (one half of the very unsavoury brothers Watt) occurred. The two fellows came together in a massive hit which looked 50/50. However, Watt must have made a disparaging remark to Reynolds, as the normally placid Bison No.7 immediately dropped one glove with Watt following suit. The Bison crowd rose to its feet in unison, anticipating a contest without the restrictions of Queensbury Rules.  The two pugilists came together in a clinch, helmets came off and punches were thrown. Reynolds then threw Watt to the ground with a rugby “spear tackle” - like a rag doll, so commented one observer. The contest terminated with some ineffective flailing of arms from the odious Watt. The referee imposed a 2 + 2 for fighting on each.

Only a minute later another malodourous incident was witnessed. The admirable Dan Harris, who once again enjoyed an excellent game in defense for the Bison, was the victim of a cynical Czech check from Jan Melichar. The young D-man crumpled face down on the ice in obvious discomfort. The bespectacled youth in Block C swore it was a head check. The howling man at the end of Row E confidently declared in a most vociferous fashion that it had been an elbow to Harris’s face. Eventually the game was stopped and, after a period of recovery, Dan left the ice unassisted. No penalty was called, leaving the crowd incensed and wondering if the referee needed a white stick.

Still in the 48^th minute Swindon pulled one back. The Bison defense was caught with trousers down, giving Swindon a 2 on 1 opportunity. Jonas Hoog buried a top shelf wrist shot past Colclough and 6-2 it was. Aaron Nell and Jaroslav Cesky, the other half of the “Bouncing Czechs” duo, received assists.

The final goal of the night came with 8 minutes remaining and brought with it an element of “whodunit”. It looked like Steve Moria had smashed in his second of the night. However, Daniel Volrab was credited with the goal and completion of a hat-trick. We can only presume that Volrab deflected Moria’s shot past the hapless goaltender. Miller and Moria were credited with assists. The 7-2 annihilation was complete. The RSPCA are still waiting for a call.

Stonewall Colclough keeps Flames at bay

Bison 3 Guildford Flames 2 (shoot out)

12/11/11

Bison goaltender, Matt Colclough, registered another masterful display with a series of blocks, saves and deflections with pad, glove, stick and mask, ending the night with a 0.93 save percentage. The Guildford Flames must now be worried with 6 losses in 14 games – not the title form they had been hoping for. Credit also to Bison man of the match, Tony “Tosh” Redmond, with a typical gritty performance on the blue line and a goal, and Joe Miller, who slammed the winning shoot out goal.

Bison took the lead in the 12^th minute with a back door goal from Jacob Heron brilliantly set up by Nicky Chinn. The Bison skipper moved the puck around the back of the goal and then timed his pass to perfection. Heron fired in his shot. Sting told Roxanne she didn’t have to put on the red light. The person behind the goal was clearly not Roxanne as on came the red light to confirm the goal.

Stuart Potts levelled it for the Flames only a couple of minutes later. He picked up the rebound from Jez Lundin’s slap shot, took the puck away from Colclough and then sent in a back handed shot whilst swivelling round. It was Torvill and Dean stuff.

Within 3 minutes of the 2^nd, Bison restored their lead. Don’t ask me to describe the build up from Moria and Miller. I was busy slicing into my Pukka pie with a bendy plastic knife and missed it. When I looked up there was Tosh Redmond firing in a wrist shot from the slot to make it 2-1. Never take your eye off the puck, even for a Pukka pie.

Bison were looking increasingly threatening. The Flames ended the period outshot by 15 to 7, but did have their chances. Halfway through the period, Dan Harris took a seat for hooking. During the power play, Flames skipper, David Longstaff, used his long staff to fire in a shot which Colclough blocked. He froze the rebounded puck to snuff out the danger. With Harris just released from detention, Nicky Chinn followed him into the naughty boy’s pen. Colclough again came to his team’s rescue, engulfing a savage shot from Savage like an amoeba ingesting food (O-level biology) and then appearing to stop one with his mask – Jacques Plante for ever (see last report).

With less than a minute in the 2^nd  remaining X-rated violence (actually it was handbags) reared its ugly head. Bison blueliner Kurt Reynolds executed what looked to me like a perfectly legal body check on Milos Melicherik. The Slovak didn’t care much for the nature of the check and decided to exact vigilante revenge. An unsavoury altercation was the result. The bespectacled youth in Block C bayed for a match penalty for Melicherik and a medal for Reynolds, but the ref saw it otherwise. He gave a 2+2 to each – Reynolds for elbows and roughing and Melicherik for roughing and …… even more roughing.

Early in the 3^rd we were treated to a nice little cameo from Joe Miller. Down on the ice and sliding away from the puck he managed to poke the puck at full stretch into the path of a team mate, who hammered a shot which was saved by Mark Lee in the Flames net. Had that one gone in, I don’t think Joe would ever have chalked up a more unusual assist.

The Flames were now coming on strong and “glass half empty” Bison fans were beginning to wonder if their team could hold out. There was a very fortunate let off in the 46^th minute. Bison were suddenly caught in a 3 on 1 by the fast moving Guildford forward line. It looked like curtains, but the hockey Gods were smiling on Bison. Curtis Huppe, one of the 3 marauders, fell, slid into Matt Colclough and the two of them took the net off its moorings. The ref blew for a face off and the danger evaporated. However, within 3 minutes of this incident, the Flames drew level with a cracking goal. Longstaff fed Lundin (not literally of course) and his cross ice pass found Stuart Potts. The D-man sent an unstoppable slap shot high into the Bison net. 2-2.

There was no more scoring in regulation time and the game moved into overtime. Both teams had their chances. First Colclough was equal to a big slap shot from Branislav Kvetan. Next Dan Harris sent in a shot at the other end. Lee saved it but gave up a rebound. The follow up shot went wide. Bison A-man Sam Oakford was next with a vicious slap shot which smashed against, but fortunately not through, the glass with a resounding crash. Then savvy Slovak, Viktor Kubenko, attempted a wraparound, but, as he emerged at the back door he noticed Tosh Redmond steaming in. An inch perfect pass (maybe we should be metric and call it a centimetre perfect pass) into the path of the Scot with only one front tooth set up a thunderous shot which went wide of the target. Great vision by Kubo. Great skating and shooting by Tosh.

The period ended with no deciding goal and so into a shoot out. Ollie Bronnimann, the Margate Marauder, had his shot well saved by Lee. Curtis Huppe then also failed to score, his shot hammering against the frame of the goal with that characteristic PING. Canadian colossus, Steve Moria, put Bison 1-0 ahead, foxing Lee into going down and then lifting the puck over the prostrate goaltender. Canadian Greg Chambers then had his shot deflected away by Matt Colclough. All Bison needed was for Miller to score to win the game. Miller, the man in form, skated forward and “glass half full” Bison fans just knew he was going to produce the goods. He didn’t disappoint, rifling home past a floundering Lee, who in his attempt to block the shot moved the net off its moorings. Lee and his teammates let their views be known to referee Szuchs about his allowing of the goal. The ref said “tough luck” and the goal stood. It was Millertime.

Miller the Killer in Overtime Thriller

Bison 4 Peterborough Phantoms 3

5/11/11

What a cheesy headline! But that’s what happened. “Problem player” Joe Miller, who is fast becoming a bigger hero at Planet Ice than Lord Nelson was in Portsmouth, smashed a winning goal with only 19 seconds to go in overtime to the relief of the Bison crowd, who had begun to believe that it wasn’t going to be their night, especially after Daniel Volrab had hammered the puck against the post 2 minutes earlier.

It was a night of frustration for Bison. After cruising into a 3-0 lead by the end of the first period and looking capable of running up a cricket score, that, had the game been played on the sub-continent, may have attracted suspicions of spot fixing, they outplayed and outshot the Phantoms for the next 40 minutes, but incredibly ended the 3^rd at 3-3. All credit to the Phantoms, who could dress only 12 skaters and were one import down. They scored their 3 goals from only 9 shots on goal in the 2^nd and 3^rd. In contrast Bison fired in 34 shots without reward. How did this happen? Well you can keep the Great Wall of China, the Maginot Line, Fatty Foulke and whatever other impregnable object you care to name, Bison came up against the Great Wall of Peterborough, goaltender Stephen Wall who faced a total of 61 shots on his goal during the game and ended up with 0.93 save percentage and Peterborough’s man of the match award. Thanks to Wall, Peterborough snatched a point from a game in which they should have been dead and buried long before the final buzzer.

Bison set the scoreboard ticking in the 7^th minute. Volrab set up Miller whose shot rebounded to Canadian colossus, Steve Moria. The Bison player coach sent in a powerful shot. The man behind the goal put on his red light quicker than a lady of the night seeking business.

3 minutes later it was 2-0. Set up by Miller, the Slovak cannon, Marcel Petran, rifled in one of his explosive slap shots. The jazz hands were raised in triumph. Further joy erupted the 16^th minute as the crowd celebrated 3-0. Jacob Heron became Bison’s third scorer of the night with a well taken unassisted goal. Intercepting a slack clearance out of defence, Jacob took the puck forward, turned and shot. Red light man was working overtime.

A couple of minutes later Wall stopped a shot with his mask. He must have been grateful to Jacques Plante, the first goaltender to wear a mask. Had he not been so protected, he would have ended up looking like someone from a Sam Pekinpah film. Moments later the puck hit referee Cloutman’s hand. OUCH! He really felt that.

The Phantoms needed to pull something out of the hat (maybe not a rabbit) or all would be lost. To the rescue came the classy Latvian import, Maris Ziedins with 2 goals in the first 2 minutes of the period. His first beat Matt Colclough top shelf catcher side, his second was a big slap shot from the point, Petran style. Suddenly the Phantoms were back in it.

Bison had a chance to rattle in a fourth goal 7 minutes into the 2^nd. Bearing down on the Phantoms goal in a 2 on 1, the admirable Viktor Kubenko, set up the Margate marauder, Ollie Bronnimann, who unfortunately fluffed his shot with the goal at his mercy.

On 28 minutes the first penalty of the game was called. Jeff Glowa high sticked into the face of Marcel Petran. No blood so only 2 minutes in the box. Petran stayed down on the ice. It appeared that one or more of his teeth had been loosened. But he was back on the ice before his assailant’s punishment had been completed. And so the second period ended with Peterborough winning it 2-0 despite having been outshot by 6-21.

2 minutes into the 2^nd Kubenko hit the post with a wraparound attempt. The game ebbed back and forth, mainly forth with Bison continuing to pour in the shots on Wall’s impregnable goal. But it was the Phantoms who found the net with a little over 2 minutes remaining. Canadian Jeff Glowa, the man who had tried to rearrange Petran’s dental features, slammed home at the back door for 3-3, assisted by Randall and Bentham. Bison were left wondering how this could possibly have happened.

Petran tried to snatch a winner in the dying seconds with an impertinent effort – a slap shot from behind his own blue line, by George. It was on target and Wall managed to save it with his pads just as the buzzer sounded. How dreadful it would have been for the goaltender had that one sneaked in.

So into overtime and Joe Miller’s winning strike with seconds remaining. Peterborough pushing forward suddenly found themselves in a disastrous 3 on 1. Miller passed to Kubenko. The savvy Slovak could have shot himself, but Wall must have appeared as big as ever in the goal. Instead he chose the better option and delivered an inch perfect centring pass for Miller to hammer home. It was all over. Bison had edged it 4-3.

A word for man of the match Kurt Reynolds, who enjoyed an excellent game in defense, and also for Viktor Kubenko, who was everywhere, repeatedly robbing the puck back on the forecheck, skating imperiously and causing the Phantoms defense all sorts of problems. Had it not been for Stephen Wall, he could have had a hatful of goals and points on the night. His tally of 0 goals and 1 assist did not reflect his efforts.