Monday, 21 November 2011

Call the RSPCA - Cruelty to Wildcats



Bison 7 Swindon Wildcats 2
20/22/11

The word “wildcat” conjures up images of a vicious wild animal with sharp claws and teeth tearing strips of flesh from the blood soaked carcass of some poor unfortunate prey, ruthlessly pursued and murdered by driving needle sharp incisor teeth into the hapless animal’s neck. (Sorry I’m getting carried away). Alas for the Swindon fans who made the trip, the Wildcats who turned up at Planet Ice tonight were more akin to fluffy kittens rolling over to have their tummies tickled and meowing for saucers of milk. Bison showed no mercy, running riot with another 7 goals to end a goalfest weekend. After Nicky Chinn’s hat-trick at Slough on Saturday night, Daniel Volrab repeated the feat here tonight. Someone should have called the RSPCA.

It took only 4 minutes of the game for Bison to romp into a 2-0 lead. In the third minute Volrab waltzed around the back of the goal, emerged wide of the back door and flicked home a back handed shot from close range. Assists went to Tosh Redmond, possessor of only one front tooth, and the Slovak Cannon, Marcel Petran. Within a minute it was 2-0. This time savvy Slovak, Viktor Kubenko, bulged the net from a Kurt Reynolds pass.

On 12 minutes, the scoreboard clicked onto “Home 3” following some relentless Bison forechecking in the offensive zone. Swindon were unable to clear their lines. Canadian colossus, Steve Moria, receiving a pass form Joe Miller, deked in front of goal, bamboozling the Wildcat netman Murdy, and fired high.

Within a minute it was 4-0. This time the scorer was Liam Chong. An inch perfect and well timed mid ice pass from Kubenko, enabled Chong to race clear and lift a back hander high into Murdy’s net. Red light man behind the goal illuminated his bulb. The Wildcats were now looking rather tame and highly vulnerable, even when on a power play. Nicky Chinn had been sent to the miscreants’ compound for tripping and, during the resultant power play, Kubenko broke clear, fluffed his shot but regained possession, then passed to the lurking and ever dangerous Petran, whose slap shot was saved. A short handed goal to make it 5-0 then would have sent the Wilcats well and truly out of the cat flap. However, they survived the remaining 7 minutes of the period without conceding and indeed looked a lot better in the second. They shut out Bison and reduced the arrears a minute before the end of the period with a slap shot goal from Nicky Watt. Assists went to the shaven headed Joe Baird (OK I couldn’t actually see that as he had a helmet on) and one half of the “Bouncing Czech” duo, Michal Pinc (pronounced pinch not pink). Swindon should have scored 7 minutes earlier than this, but incredibly failed to capitalise on a 2 on 0. Bearing down on goal, Aaron Nell must have thought “Even my grandmother could score here.” She would have, but he didn’t. Was he shooting at the moon? His wild shot was so inaccurate that it didn’t even hit the glass, flying high into the netting above. Oh dear!

Bison needed another goal to get their momentum going again and it took only 45 seconds of play in the third to bag that vital goal. Miller fed Moria, whose cross ice pass set up A-man/D-man, Sam Oakford, to drive a rising slap shot high into Murdy’s stringbag, Petran style but without the jazz hands.

Less than a minute later a delayed penalty for checking from behind was called on Wildcat Sam Bullas. Bison goaltender, Matt Colclough, skated  at top speed towards the bench as if pursued by an axe murderer with a rabid hatred of netminders, enabling Bison to bring on an extra skater for a 6 on 5. They cleverly kept possession of the puck, moving it forward from behind their own goal line. Daniel Volrab made the one man advantage pay, scoring his second of the night for 6-1. Assists to Chinn and Harris, who had started the move. Bullas received a 2 + 10.

On 47 minutes an unseemly altercation of the most unpleasant variety involving Kurt Reynolds and the ever niggly Nicky Watt (one half of the very unsavoury brothers Watt) occurred. The two fellows came together in a massive hit which looked 50/50. However, Watt must have made a disparaging remark to Reynolds, as the normally placid Bison No.7 immediately dropped one glove with Watt following suit. The Bison crowd rose to its feet in unison, anticipating a contest without the restrictions of Queensbury Rules.  The two pugilists came together in a clinch, helmets came off and punches were thrown. Reynolds then threw Watt to the ground with a rugby “spear tackle” - like a rag doll, so commented one observer. The contest terminated with some ineffective flailing of arms from the odious Watt. The referee imposed a 2 + 2 for fighting on each.

Only a minute later another malodourous incident was witnessed. The admirable Dan Harris, who once again enjoyed an excellent game in defense for the Bison, was the victim of a cynical Czech check from Jan Melichar. The young D-man crumpled face down on the ice in obvious discomfort. The bespectacled youth in Block C swore it was a head check. The howling man at the end of Row E confidently declared in a most vociferous fashion that it had been an elbow to Harris’s face. Eventually the game was stopped and, after a period of recovery, Dan left the ice unassisted. No penalty was called, leaving the crowd incensed and wondering if the referee needed a white stick.

Still in the 48th minute Swindon pulled one back. The Bison defense was caught with trousers down, giving Swindon a 2 on 1 opportunity. Jonas Hoog buried a top shelf wrist shot past Colclough and 6-2 it was. Aaron Nell and Jaroslav Cesky, the other half of the “Bouncing Czechs” duo, received assists.

The final goal of the night came with 8 minutes remaining and brought with it an element of “whodunit”. It looked like Steve Moria had smashed in his second of the night. However, Daniel Volrab was credited with the goal and completion of a hat-trick. We can only presume that Volrab deflected Moria’s shot past the hapless goaltender. Miller and Moria were credited with assists. The 7-2 annihilation was complete. The RSPCA are still waiting for a call.

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