Sunday, 19 February 2012

The Night it Rained Short Handed Goals


Bison 3 Bracknell Bees 1
18/2/12

On a night when no fewer of 3 of the 4 goals scored were short handed, Bison completed a clean sweep of home victories over Bracknell. It was a reasonably comfortable 3-1 win, but a late goal saw the chance of a Stephen Wall shut out snatched away from him, Tantalus style (a bit of Greek mythology there). The goal reduced the Bees’ deficit to 2-1 and brought on a tense finale. But with less than 30 seconds remaining and Bison defending a 6 on 4 power play, Slovak Cannon, Marcel Petran, settled the issue with an empty netter scored from behind his own goal line, which sent the jazz hands twirling.

Bison took the lead in the 11th minute with the first short handed goal. Bouncing Czech, Daniel Volrab, watched from the penalty box, having gone there for a slash (should I rephrase that?). From wide of the goal Canadian Colossus, Steve Moria, saw Nicky Chinn steaming in and centred perfectly for the Welsh Bison skipper to score with a one timer past Tom Annetts. The goal was followed by a moonwalk celebration – maybe we have enough Michael Jackson impersonators for Nicky to be tempted by a new career and anyway he doesn’t look much like the late Mr. Jackson. The second assist went to Bison’s other Welshman, the admirable Joe Miller. The only thing which prevented it from being an all Welsh affair was coach Moria – the Canadian meat in the lava bread sandwich. Never mind, we’ll still say “Cymru am byth” (Davina are you reading this?)

Bison had a let off halfway through the period. A game of pinball in front of their goal saw players of both sides stabbing, jabbing, poking and slashing at a loose puck, which eventually Bison goaltender Wall managed to cover with his leg whilst lying prostrate on the ice. “That was pure Mark Bernard,” said the Scottish lady in the Redmond shirt (well what other player’s shirt would you expect her to wear?).

A minute later Bison almost went 2-0 up with Savvy Slovak, Viktor Kubenko, gliding around the back of the goal and setting up the currently free scoring Kurt Reynolds in front of goal. Kurt’s shot was well saved by Tom Annetts. Then with the Bees defending a power play, ex Bison netman Tom stopped a Petran slap shot from the blue line and then butterflied to stop a Kubenko effort after Bison man of the match, Ollie Bronnimann, the Margate Marauder, had skated up the boards and fired in a diagonal pass right onto the Slovak’s stick tape. Annetts was to produce another fine save later, deflecting away another Petran rocket propelled slap shot from the blue line, this time with his mask. Maybe he didn’t see it coming - I cannot imagine anyone would willingly put his head in front of a Petran thunderbolt, mask or not.

Bison had to wait until 38 minutes to increase their lead. A breakaway set up by the defensive duo of Petran and Reynolds, saw Kubenko bearing down on goal on his Tod Sloan (a bit of cockney rhyming slang for you there – why not Wikipedia him he’s a very interesting character). Viktor shot low straight through the 5-hole with Annetts going into butterfly a fraction of a second too late. On came the goal light, which for some reason is white not red at this end of the rink, but who cares?

Into the 3rd period and in the 54th minute Scott Spearing was lucky to escape a penalty for throwing punches at Nicky Chinn, which referee Dave Cloutman didn’t see. With his glasses and newly grown white goatee Mr Cloutman has become a Colonel Sanders lookalike. Perhaps one of the players distracted his attention by ordering a KFC bargain bucket just as Spearing was inflicting his violence on Chinn. Suffice it to say Scott got off scot-free. Vigilante revenge followed shortly afterwards, however, with Jacob Heron pushing Spearing to the ice. He ended up on his backside like an upturned turtle much to the amusement of the crowd, who filled the air with ironic cheering. Chinn would later describe the affair as “just a bit of fun.”

Then a cataclysmic disaster on the scale of the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa occurred. With netminder Stephen Wall looking good for his first shutout for Bison and the clock ticking down towards 3 minutes remaining, the man in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt jinxed it. He turned to the genial Brummie in the Kieras shirt and said “are you donning your rose tinted specs and predicting a shutout”. The Brummie saw the danger and declined to make such a prediction, but it was too late. It had been said. Within a minute Bison’s Alamo style defense had been breached and it was all the fault of the Chiefs man – Wally you know who to come and see. It started at the Bees end. Petran wound up for yet another of his massive jet propelled slap shots from the slot. His stick hit the ice and two objects flew forward – the puck and the blade from his shattered stick. The latter looked likely to clear the glass behind the Bees’ goal but dipped just short and hit the glass. Petran skated away immediately to collect a new stick and managed to get back behind the blue line, but in all the excitement Bison’s formation had gone pear shaped and suddenly Matt Foord and Shaun Thomspon were in 2 on 1 on Petran. The Slovak blueliner, versatile though he may be, was unable to expand his physical form to Rick Waller proportions to cover both attackers. Foord hammered home Thompson’s pass. Andy Munroe, who had started the move, picked up the second assist. And even worse for Bison - it was a short handed goal with Masa having been incarcerated for tripping.

Things now became a trifle tense. Bracknell came forward looking for the jugular. Shots came in. Wall stood firm. After one save a bit of scuffle broke out in front of the Bison net, but the unseemly affray ended without a punch being thrown and no penalty called – it was just a few players voicing their contrary opinions in the most polite fashion I am sure. Then Chris Wiggins was called for charging with just over 2 minutes left. With only 1.25 on the clock, Bracknell called a time out and pulled their goaltender to make a 5 on 4 power play a 6 on 4. The Bison end of the ice now appeared more congested that the M25 in the rush hour. But the Bees’ reckless gamble failed. A face off at the Bison end moved the puck from Moria to Wall to Petran, who spooned an enormous saucer shot from behind the goal line through the crowd of players, miraculously hitting no-one. The puck landed and slid menacingly towards the unguarded net, which gaped as wide as the mouth of a wide mouthed frog. Was it going in? Yes it was and yes it did. Wall may not have recorded a shut out, but he was compensated with his first Bison goal assist. He hugged Petran like a long lost brother. Up went the jazz hands. 3-1 it was and 3-1 it ended.

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