Skin of the Teeth Win for Dominant Bison

Bison 4 Peterborough Phantoms 3

10/1/15

The third Planet Ice encounter between the two teams was played out last night with the series at one apiece. The first game was marred by outrageous violence, the second played out in a good spirit, but marred by goaltender Janis Auzins’s gloating gestures towards the Bison backers at the end. What were we to see this time?

The opening minutes of play were dominated by Bison, who were looking very lively and passing and moving much more crisply than in recent weeks. They eventually made their superiority count with a goal on 9 minutes, but I jump ahead. First I must relate an incident of the most deplorable and depraved violence which occurred on 7 minutes. Michael “Muzzy” Wales clattered one of the brothers Ferrara. Immediately ref Thompson’s arm went up to indicate a penalty and a power play to the Phantoms. However, indiscipline by the unsavoury Greg Pick turned it into a Bison power play instead, as Muzzy’s challenge was immediately followed by a violent assault on his person by Pick, which, had it occurred in Basingstoke High Street with members of Hampshire Constabulary in attendance, would have resulted in the disgraceful and indeed despicable assailant being charged with GBH or ABH at a bare minimum and looking at a jail sentence of 6 months rather that a 2 + 2 roughing, which is the punishment he received. So it was the box which received Pick not Wormwood Scrubs. As Muzzy’s kneeing offence attracted only a 2 minute penalty and because he had not returned Pick’s punches, preferring to act as an inert punchbag, it was Bison who went on the power play.

The power play was defended, but within 8 seconds of its termination, Bison bagged an even handed goal. An interesting line was on the ice at the time - 42 year old Bison skipper, Nicky Chinn, with his linemates Stuart “The Cat” Mogg (20) and Cameron “Popeye” Wynn (19). It was like Lance Corporal Jones and 2 Pikes. However, the combination made the Phantoms D raise their hands in surrender and there was no need for Chinny to shout “Handy-hock”. He set up Popeye, whose shot was saved. The rebound was fired back in by Moggy, but once again the Phantoms’ goaltender Auzins was equal to it. However, he could only block the shot and not freeze it and Chinny shovelled it in for 1-0 Bison. Some of the Bison backers informed their friends and family about the goal. Some texted. Some phoned. Some tweeted. Some facebooked. Some sent up smoke signals. Some dot dot dashed. Some waved semaphore flags. And Broadsword called Danny Boy.

It was looking good for Bison, but all their dominance was to count for nothing as some less than top drawer defending, as a member of the aristocracy might describe it, let the Phantoms back in with 2 goals in the space of a minute and a half. A greater robbery could not have been perpetrated by a gang composed of Dick Turpin, Jesse James, Ronnie Biggs and Bonnie and Clyde, but Bison could have no complaints.

The equalising goal came on 13 minutes with Milan Baranyk setting up Marc Levers at the back door. The Bison D had left him completely on his own as they would a radioactive visitor from Chernobyl. There was a big gap between netman and post and Levers required no written invitation. He snapped a one timer past hung out to dry Dean “Deano” Skinns. Luke Ferrara received the second assist. 1-1.

Only a minute and a half later it was 1-2 Phantoms. Edgars Bebris and James Ferrara combined behind the net, the latter sending a pass out to all alone Phantoms’ forward Baranyk in front of the net. He hammered a monster of a snap shot past Skinns, who once again had been hung out to dry.

The Phantoms hit the goal frame late, but there was no more scoring in the period, which ended with a 1-2 scoreline, despite a shot count of 19-7 in Bison’s favour. And so into P2 we went. Allow me a slight digression. Did you ever transform your Bic biro into a peashooter at school? Take out the end cap and ink tube, turn it round and hey presto you have a peashooter. You could now fire out inky paper pellets to splat against the clean white shirt of your hapless classmate. What relevance is this? Well it goes to show that sometimes something can be transformed into something completely different. Bison had to undergo a metamorphosis from a team unable to put the puck in the back of the net (apart from one scrappy effort) whilst at the other end gifting their opponents goals from slack defending into a goal machine rock solid at the back. This they achieved with 2 unanswered goals and a P2 shot count of 17-6 which illustrated their dominance.

P2 opened with another goal frame rattling shot from the Phantoms, this one from Marc Levers. Had that and the one at the end of P1 gone in it would have been a grossly unfair (on the balance of play and shot count) 1-4 Phantoms and surely no way back for Bison. But they didn’t, it wasn’t and there was.

On 27 minutes Bison equalised. A defensive slip up let in Nicky Chinn and Stuart “The Cat” Mogg. Chinny broke left and attempted to lay it on a plate for Moggy at the back door. The puck never reached him, but it mattered not a jot as hapless D-man, Jason Buckman, deflected the puck over the line. It would have been an own goal, had such existed in hockey, but it doesn’t, so Chinny was credited with his second goal of the night and Moggy an assist. 2-2.

5 minutes later it was 3-2 with a move as audacious as Captain Blood’s attempt to steal the Crown Jewells from the Tower of London in 1671. Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov and Maple Leaf Doug Sheppard marauded towards the Phantoms goal. Karpov passed to the coach at the back door and he drew goaltender Auzins and the entire Phantoms D. Instead of shooting he snapped the puck back to Karpov. It was the perfect set up. Bison’s Czech chappie had an open goal, 6 feet wide and 4 feet high with no goaltender to spoil the view. He doesn’t miss these and didn’t this time. The goal was greeted by a hurling of hats to the rafters of Planet Ice – the city gents their bowlers, the undertakers their top hats, the professors their mortar boards and the Mexicans their sombreros.

P3 was played out with no further addition to the score, although the Phantoms did manage to ring the Bison pipes again (3^rd time) towards the end of the period. Although Bison had outshot the Phantoms by a staggering 36-13, they were still only a solitary goal to the good and the game was tantalisingly balanced. If the visitors could up their game in P3 the points were there for the taking. However, Bison had other ideas, as I shall relate.

A chance for the Phantoms to pull level came on 52 minutes with a power play. Nicky Chinn was called for tripping. He was invited to pack his bags by the referee. Well not literally of course as Chinny’s holiday was to comprise 2 minutes in the less than scenic penalty box, a break for which no luggage would be required. Could the Phantoms take advantage? No they couldn’t and, even worse, they fell further behind to a shortie of the most spectacular variety. A slack pass let in Long Ciaron Long, who skated forward and then set himself for a slap shot from just inside the blue line. It would have been easier for the Bearded Rabble Rouser of Block A to pass through the eye of a needle with a Biblical camel in tow than for Auzins to stop this missile of a shot, which was past him before he could react. 4-2 Bison and it was looking like game over. But it wasn’t as a minute later the Phantoms made it a one goal game again with a messy shovel in by Baranyk, Pliskauskas and Norton assisting. The Bison backers thought the goal should not have stood as Skinns and 2 other players were down in the crease, but the officials saw no goaltender interference and 4-3 it was. 

Deano performed heroics shortly after, losing his stick whilst making a save and then blocking a shot, whilst still stickless. The manner in which his stick flew away looked as if he was saying “I don’t need this anymore.” And indeed he didn’t. The Phantoms couldn’t score then and couldn’t score after. They pulled Auzins for the last 50 seconds, but the final buzzer sounded and it was all over. The scoreline of 4-3 hardly reflected Bison’s dominance, but it was, nevertheless, a good win against the Phantoms, who have surprised many by their much improved form this season. Janis Auzins was their top banana and, as he skated up to collect his beers, he was generously applauded by the Bison crowd, which went to show that, if you behave in the correct manner (he didn’t last time – see previous report) you will receive appropriate sporting recognition from the opposition fans. Lumberjack Joe Rand was Bison’s top banana.