Title Targeting Tigers Topped

Bison 3 Telford Tigers 2 (shoot out)

3/1/15

The high flying Telford Tigers journeyed to Basingstoke last night hoping to further their title ambitions against a Bison team enjoying (or rather not enjoying) a slump in form and fortune. They brought with them their hordes of fans. Well a horde of 33 to be precise and of those only 6 wearing Tigers shirts – you would have thought that, on the back of their teams’ most successful period ever, more would have made the journey. As “Ferry Cross the Mersey” blared from the Planet Ice speakers, we were left to wonder whether the Scousers will turn out in greater force if the Tigers make their rumoured move to Liverpool.

The opening goal of the game was a power play goal on 7 minutes. Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov didn’t score it but he deserves double credit as he got an assist for the goal and also drew the penalty for the power play opportunity. Wonderful stuff from Bison’s Czech chappie. Am I biased? All I will say, dear reader, is that, as I write this humble piece, I sip coffee from my Karpov mug. The Tigers’ Jonathon Weaver used his stick as if it were a butcher’s billhook to impede Karpov’s rush on goal. The consequence of his illegal action was a loud explosion of noise. It wasn’t the detonation of an atomic bomb. It was referee Cloutman’s whistle. “Down the steps you go, matey,” said Mr Cloutman. 53 seconds into the 5 on 4 it was 1-0 Bison. Karpov fired in a shot which Tigers’ goaltender Tom Murdy saved, but could not hold, freeze or conceal about his person by trapping it in his attire. Far from it. The puck bounced off him like a Mexican jumping bean to spark off a blue paint melée of epic proportions. Cuddly Joe Greener tried to force the puck in, but failed. Never mind.  There was Lumberjack Joe Rand, as sharp as the tip of Rosa Klebb’s shoe dagger (any 007 fans out there?), to complete the scoring of a dirty goal. The Bison backers’ celebration of the goal occurred as instantaneously as a gun going off, but fortunately one didn’t so no-one was shot.

There was no more scoring in P2, the teams leaving the ice with Bison on the power play after Blahoslav Novak was adjudged to have tripped. Honours were almost even, but not quite. Bison had outshot the Tigers by 11-8 and had the one goal advantage. They had played it tight, frequently with 3 men in defense. The tactic was working very well.

P2 began and the remaining 21 seconds of the Bison power play was played out without reward for the homesters. However, Bison very nearly doubled their lead shortly after as Long Ciaron Long broke down the right wing and bypassed the solitary Tigers’ D-man with a centring pass to Maple Leaf Doug Sheppard, steaming in at the back door. Alas the coach was unable to fire home a one timer snap shot as the puck was bouncing and had to be brought under control. The chance went, went a begging, went out the window and went by the board all at once.

It didn’t take long for the Tigers to draw level. On 23 minutes Marcus Maynard fed Dan Davies, who cut diagonally across the slot and found Rick Plant. Plant is no wallflower and planted the puck in the net off his backhand to leave the Bison D withering on the vine. They had allowed the Tigers acres of space with agricultural defending. 1-1.

The score was 1-1 and the shot count 18-18 for the first 2 periods. You couldn’t fit a Rizla fag paper between the teams. And for us mere mortals it was difficult to predict which team was going to step up to the plate and snatch it. Not difficult for Mystic Jo, however, armed with a brand new set of tarot cards. 3-2 she had said before the game and 3-2 it ended, but I am jumping ahead.

The first half of P3 was a cat and mouse affair with neither side enjoying a significant advantage. On 49 minutes, however, Bison went on the power play. Peter Szabo was called for high sticks. There was no need for the referee to get out the handcuffs, taser or pepper spray. Szabo went quietly to the penal institution. Could Bison capitalise? No they couldn’t and, even worse, they fell behind to that ignominious of all ignominious goals – a shortie. Unable to clear their defensive zone, the Bison D watched Jonathon Weaver set up an unmarked Dan Davies to snap in at the back door. Unmarked? How could this have happened with a man advantage? It was an “Oooh Betty!” moment for Bison. The goal was a punch on the nose for the Bison backers. Colour drained from faught faces, glasses drained to half empty, negative thoughts were thought, worried feelings were felt and brows became furrowed. A Bison win now seemed as unlikely to the naysayers as finding pie, mash and mushy peas on the menu at a Buckingham Palace banquet.  “We won’t win it now,” declared the Man in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt. But what does he know about hockey? Nevertheless at this juncture it was 1-2 Tigers. Did they think it was all over as in 1966? Maybe, but events which were to take place within a minute of the Tigers’ go ahead goal were to dispel the doubts of the negative and expose the naysayers, not to mention the gainsayers, as nothing other than a bunch of faithless curmudgeonlies, wallowing in a quagmire of despair, despondency and depression, misery, melancholy and morosity.

After concession of the short handed goal Bison were at least still on the power play. However, they could not take advantage before Szabo was released from his house of correction, doubtless a reformed character. But 9 seconds later Bison were level. Karpov working hard on the boards slipped a pass to Greener. Cuddly Joe’s speculative lobbed shot was covered by Murdy until Bison’s captain for the night, Lumberjack Joe Rand, got his twig in the way and deflected the puck past the hapless netman. 2-2.

Seconds later the hero was the goaltender at the other end as Max Birbraer broke clear and bore down on goal. His shot was saved by “Deano” Skinns and 2-2 it remained.

Shortly after, Andy “Machine Gun” Melachrino was impeded and fell to the ice. “HOLDING” protested the Bespectacled Youth. “TRIPPING,” cried the Man of Steel. “INTERFERENCE,” shouted the Man in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt. But referee Cloutman thought it was none of these nor indeed cross checking, spearing, butt ending, attempted butt ending, clipping, charging, common assault, grievous bodily harm nor even attempted murder and gave nothing.

The period ended with a bizarre incident. During a scrimmage in the corner Marvellous Miroslav Vantroba was pushed to the ice from behind and fell on top of the puck. A Tigers’ player (I am not sure who that was) attempted to knock the prostrate D-man off the puck with his stick, but but only succeeded in “pushing him round like a hoover”, as the Man with 3 Ear Rings commented. Miro could have been called for delay of game, but thankfully wasn’t. It was difficult to see what he could have done, flat on his face, unable to get up and being slid around on the end of stick. However, stranger calls have been made, as was seen last week with the appalling (so I am told) refereeing of Ms. Cuglietta, who wore the armbands in the Bison v Cats game. This week we saw a far higher standard of officiating from Dave Cloutman. So much so that the Man in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt was even moved to shout of “We love you, Clouts” at one stage. I am not sure that the Howling Man, Mr. Cloutman’s greatest critic, would have shared this opinion.

Regulation time ended and the game went into overtime. There were no goals, which meant that it would be a penalty shootout to decide the outcome. Rand scored first for Bison with a 5-hole shot. Szabo levelled it with a top shelfer. Long Ciaron Long, scorer of some bamboozling penalty shot goals in the past, fluffed it this time, as did Tigers’ captain Jason Silverthorn with a poor attempt that was easily butterfly saved by Skinns. Karpov made it 2-1 with a rifling shot past Murdy and it now all depended on Scott McKenzie and Dean Skinns. In came the luxuriantly beared McKenzie and fired towards the top corner. Deano raised his catcher. I am not sure whether Deano saved it or it went high. But the end result was the same - it was no goal and 2 points for Bison. In June 1917 the simultaneous detonation of 19 mines planted in tunnels below the Messines Ridge caused a man made shock wave that was felt in London 130 miles away. The celebration of the Bison backers was on a similar scale. And why not? Bison had bagged a hard fought win against the table toppers. Men of the match were Karpov for Bison and Bison old boy, alumnus if you prefer a high-falluting word, Sammy Zajac for the Tigers.