Bison Jet Back to Top Spot

Bison 4 Slough Jets 1

12/1/13

With news of a catastrophic Guildford Flames defeat by 6-1 at the hands of the Manchester Phoenix, the mood at Planet Ice last night was one of deep joy, as Stanley Unwin might have described it. Bison had reclaimed top spot in the EPL with a stick it to the man win over the Slough Jets.

The Jets proved to be spirited opponents and had clearly not come to just make up the numbers. In fact, they took the lead in the 4^th minute when a clever interchange between James Hutchinson and Aaron Connolly set up Michael Wales all alone near the point. He had only Stonewall Stevie Lyle to beat – easier said than done, but he did so, sending a wicked wrist shot over Lyle’s shoulder and into the net via the bar. Brilliance was followed by comedy, for, as Mr. Wales skated along the boards with arms aloft to celebrate the goal his legs went from under him and he fell flat on his face. If one had to use aircraft analogies the goal had the power and grace of Concorde, but the celebration was more akin to Blériot’s monoplane.

Despite some fast flowing play from both teams and numerous chances, not to mention a few heart stopping scrambles in front of the net, the score remained at 0-1 at the period’s termination. Flash Harry, a hockey virgin sitting in Block C was impressed with the form of Stonewall Stevie Lyle. “Your goalie has kept you in it”, he said. By the end of the game he was referring to Bison as “we”. A convert?

Within 3 minutes of the start of the 2^nd Bison were level with a goal not too dissimilar from the first. This time it was Coach Sheppard and Cuddly Joe Greener doing the spadework and Bison skipper, Tony “Tosh” Redmond, steaming in faster than the 9.45 to Waterloo to fire in an unstoppable wrist shot from virtually the identical spot from which Wales had scored. The Bison faithful must have been relieved as it was clear from conversations in the interval that they thought their team needed to step up their game or all would be lost. Step it up they had. It was lucky that the crowd did not stamp their feet in rhythmic unison to celebrate the goal or we could have had a Tacoma Narrows Bridge style collapse of Planet Ice. If you’ve never seen the footage, Youtube it and then ask Climbing Girl (she knows about things mathematical) to write you out the formulae for resonant frequency and aeroelastic flutter (bet she can).

The Jets had a chance to retake the lead only a minute later when Deadly Darius Pliskauskas, the lethal Lithuanian, found himself with a point blank back door opportunity. He couldn’t miss. Planting the puck in the net seemed easier than hitting an elephant at 5 paces. But actually it wasn’t because……….he missed. And that miss proved costly as it ensured that Bison retained the momentum, continued to press and managed to take the lead for the first time in the game on 33 minutes. The highly tattooed Alex Symonds fed ex Jets player, Cuddly Joe Greener, who clearly believes that the grass is greener on the other side, and he set up Coach Sheppard in front of the net. Maple Leaf Doug drove in a forehand shot, which deflected off the goaltender’s stick and into the net. 2-1 Bison. As Joe’s brother, Adam, still with the Jets, came off the ice, the Bespectacled Youth, a close observer of Greener’s failure to prevent the goal, offered a sympathetic “Unlucky, Adam. You tried your best.” The elder and heavier, but shorter and less skilful of the two Greener brothers took exception to the remark and uttered an unprintable expletive at the Youth, pointing directly at him to indicate that his card was marked. Clearly the no swearing rule doesn't apply to players.

The period finally ended and it had been an excellent period of hockey with both teams coming very close on a number of occasions. The Man in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt remarked that he had never seen so many blue paint scrambles. The Rabble Rouser of Block A described how a Mindy Kieras shot had seemed to hit both posts and the bar before dropping into the crease. It had been a frantic period full of OOOs and Ahs from the crowd. The Man from MI5 observing incognito from Block C needed a drink to calm his nerves, but alas the Planet Ice refreshments counter could not serve him a Martini (shaken not stirred). You think I’ve made this bloke up, don’t you? Rest assured he really exists, but obviously I can’t reveal his identity. If I did, he might stab me with his poison tipped umbrella.

And so into the 3^rd we went. The next score was going to be crucial. Much to the delight of the Bison crowd it was their team who bagged it to propel Bison into a 3-1 lead only a minute into the period. Shoeless Joe Miller fed Greg “Chubbs” Chambers. Chubbs found the other Greg, Greg “The Specs” Owen, who deked Greg Rockman in the Jets’ net (we had Gregs coming out of our ears) and attempted a backhander which Rockman saved. But the rebound fell to Greg “The Specs” for a second attempt. Had he possessed the physical form of Pavarotti, Rockman would have had a chance of blocking the goal completely. But he did not. (Neither could he sing operatic tenor. At least I don’t think he can, but then I have never heard him burst into song during a game). Rockman was down, but not quite out, as he provided a formidable block at low level, forcing Greg “The Specs” to lift the puck over his prostrate form and high into the net whilst falling to the ice himself. Spec-tacular stuff for sure.

Bison were now in the ascendancy and it took only another 4 minutes for them to capitalise with their 4^th goal of the game. If it were possible to award 2 assist points for a goal, then Bouncing Czech, Jaroslav Cesky deserved them for his involvement in this one. Receiving the puck from Zach Sullivan, he cut in on goal. He moved forward with the grace of Margot Fonteyn, the speed of Usain Bolt, the manual dexterity of Andrés Segovia and the determination of Phil “The Power” Taylor to hit a treble 20. His quicksilver movement outstripped the leaden legged Jets D. Bison’s mercurial golden boy had created for himself a chrome plated opportunity with brass knobs on thanks to his iron resolve. He steeled himself for the shot and fired one in. Rockman saved it, but Jaro picked up the rebounded puck, carried it around the back of the goal and emerged at the back door. He rifled an across the crease pass to a lurking Coach Sheppard and Maple Leaf Doug buried the chance for his second of the game and 4-1 Bison. 

Could the shell shocked Jets come back from this? With Bison on top of their game and growing in confidence all the time, surely there was more chance of the Howling Man, who incidentally had an uncharacteristically quiet game, swimming the Channel, climbing Everest and journeying to the centre of the earth all in the same afternoon. And so it proved. The score remained at 4-1 and there was no comeback. Bison had snatched back the EPL top spot.