Lumberjack Joe Chops Down the Jets’ Trees

A big thank you to all who read my report on last week’s Dogs game. Quite frankly I wasn’t really in the mood to write a report – not sour grapes because we lost, but because of the undercurrent of unpleasantness of a very bad evening. However, the Bespectacled Youth persuaded me otherwise. I thought no-one would read it, but over 230 people did including 60 odd from a link put up by someone on the Manchester Phoenix Forum, would you believe? One of them referred to me as a “sad individual”. I take that as a compliment! Maybe he was a Dogs fan and didn’t like a few home truths??

Bison 5 Slough Jets 4 (shoot out)

2/3/13

Bison’s run of 4 successive EPL defeats was brought to an end last night with a comeback which made Lazarus sauntering out of his cave alive and in robust of health look a mere bagatelle. Down and apparently out at 0-3 halfway through the 2^nd and looking decidedly lack lustre, Bison came back to snatch an unexpected victory. Heroes of the night were Greg “Chubbs” Chambers, playing as a stand in D-man, with 2 goals in 2 minutes to haul Bison back from a 2-4 deficit to parity in the 3^rd and Lumberjack Joe Rand with a sweet breakaway goal in the 2^nd and a penalty shoot out winner.

The 1^st period belonged to the Jets. Although shots on goal were about even, Bison looked like they were playing at half speed. The Jets took the lead in the 16^th minute with a power play goal from James Hutchinson. Put in by Gomeniuk and Pliskauskas he got in close and slipped the puck under Stonewall Stevie Lyle. Less than a minute later it was 0-2. Slava Koulikov, set up by Ciaron Long, saw his shot deflect high into air off Lyle, but before the goaltender could react Mindy Kieras had batted it past him into the goal.

Bison started the 2^nd in better form, but, though they huffed and puffed, they were finding it very difficult to blow the Jets’ house down. They nearly registered a short handed goal in the 28^th minute. With Carl Graham sent to the box for a slash (should I rephrase that?), Coach Sheppard broke clear, but saw his shot saved. Alas whilst still on the penalty kill, they fell further behind as Darius Pliskauskas fired in a long range wrist shot for the Jets’ 2^nd power play goal of the game. Kieras and Gomeniuk assisted. It was 0-3 Jets and the fat lady was practicing her arpeggios.

Things were looking grim for the Bison faithful. It was now over 90 minutes of play on home ice since they had scored an EPL goal. A comeback from this position seemed as unlikely as Robbie Coltrane orbiting the moon on the back of a sparrow. But hockey is a funny game and recoveries from apparently hopeless positions have been manifold in hockey history. A glimmer of hope surfaced in the 34^th minute. With man mountain Frankie Bakrlik in the dark dungeon that is the Sapphire Cleaning penalty box for slashing, Bison went on the power play. The pessimistic amongst the Bison crowd didn’t get excited. After all the Bison power play seemed to have hit a brick wall in recent games. In their last home ice game against the Steeldogs they failed to take advantage of any of their 11 power play opportunities and the cynical amongst the crowd were beginning to think that shutting out a short handed goal counted as a measure of power play success. But the pessimistic and the cynical were made to look like nothing other than curmudgeonly, gloomy, despondent, melancholy, lugubrious, disconsolate, morose, wretched and miserable down in the mouths, not to mention pessimistic and cynical. How? Bison scored! With the Jets pinned back Shoeless Joe Miller fed Greg “The Specs” Owen just inside the blueline. He passed square to the other Greg aka “Chubbs” Chambers. As the Jets D switched their focus to Chubbs space opened up in front of Greg “The Specs” and he beat the yet another Greg (Rockman) with a slap shot from Chubbs’s return pass. The puck flew high into the net with the speed, if not the trajectory, of an Agincourt archer’s arrow. Not even the Berlin wall could have stopped that, thought the Man from MI5, observing incognito from Block C (hardly surprising as it no longer exists, but he does – I keep telling you).

At least at 1-3 there was hope for the Bison faithful, a straw to clutch, light at the end of the tunnel to observe, a peg on which to hang their hat, a ray of sunshine to bask in. The Greenhorn Guest, who had spent the game speaking of “goalkeepers”, “ice hockey” and “Bisons” made a bid for the crown of Mystic Jo. “It will end 4-4,” he said.

And so the game moved into the 3^rd. Within a minute a disaster on the scale of the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa occurred. Coach Sheppard’s drop pass was picked up by Long. He skated in on Lyle and was hauled to the ice by the stick and person of Bison’s Bouncing Czech, Jarolsav Cesky. The Jets were awarded a penalty shot. There could be no complaint, even from the Howling Man. Actually I think he did voice his contrary opinion, albeit to no avail. Long skated in on Lyle and feinted to shoot, forcing Lyle to commit himself, but then dragged the puck wide and tried to squeeze it in at the opposite post. However, Lyle slid across and blocked the shot with his pad at the foot of the post. No goal. In celebration a convulsive commotion characterised by a cacophony of caterwauling broke out amongst the contented crowd.

On 45 minutes it was a one goal game. Lumberjack Joe Rand delivered the goods. A robust and rugged physical challenge, not to mention a wiggle of Joe’s lithe and lissom hips coupled with a slick and sagacious sleight of hand, allowed him to seize the puck from the hapless Jets D-man, Sam Godfrey. The Basingstoke lumberjack moved the puck forward with his stick and skate and bore down on Rockman. An attempt to halt his progress was made from behind, but even with a stick hooked around his body, Joe still managed to squeeze the puck in for a delayed penalty goal and 2-3.

Seriously back in the game now Bison needed to keep it tight and continue to press, now they had the momentum. To allow the Jets to snatch that away with another goal would have been as undesirable as the scrapings from a Dixieland jazz clarinetist’s reed after a week at Mardi Gras. But that is exactly what transpired. Only a minute and a half later the ever dangerous Bakrlik cut in from the right wing and fired home a peach of a wrist shot, beating Lyle high. Hutchinson picked up the assist. Heads could have dropped at this stage. Having worked so hard to get back into the game it looked as if the cup was going to be snatched from Bison lips Tantalus style. The curmudgeonly were beginning to rear their ugly heads once more. But no! Enter Greg “Chubbs” Chambers. With Bakrlik incarcerated for a slash, Bison scored their second power play goal of the night, Chubbs lifting a superb wrist shot past Rockman from just inside the blueline. Miller and Rand assisted. Not content with that Chubbs scored again 2 minutes later. Some determined grinding behind the net by Miller and Cesky ended with the former firing a pass to Chubbs, who repeated his feat with another unstoppable wrist shot. The goal had been scored with aplomb (with a what? OK with style).

The remaining minutes of regular time and those of overtime ticked down with no further scoring and so we came to a penalty shoot out to decide the victor. Davies and Miller both scored in the first round. Pliskauskas missed and Sheppard scored in the second and so to the final round with Bison 2-1 ahead. Up first was the deadly Frankie Bakrlik with over 40 goals for the Jets this season. He had to score and did. A clever deke and the giant Czech slotted home. It was now all down to Lumberjack Joe Rand. He moved forward eager to repeat his beating of Rockman for the second Bison goal. As Joe approached, the Jets’ fans must have wished that their goaltender possessed the bulk of Two Ton Ted from Teddington, who drove the baker’s van (Google him if you’re not a Benny Hill fan), so that he could block the goal completely, but Rocky was no Ted and he couldn’t. Lumberjack Joe slotted home and the win was Bison’s.