Sunday, 28 September 2014

Tigers Tamed

Bison 2 Telford Tigers 1 (penalty shoot out)
27/9/14

A tough game last week and a tough game this week. The Telford Tigers paid their first visit of the season to Planet Ice. Notwithstanding that it may conjure up images of corporal castigation and other dubious practices when described thus, it is true to say that the Tigers had been the “whipping boys” of the EPL for a number of seasons. But all that has changed and a financially invigorated and much improved Tigers, led by their Canadian captain Jason Silverthorne, a point a game man in 390 Elite League games, are now tipped by many for the EPL title. But Bison have their title tippers as well and this encounter had all likelihood of being a titanic struggle. So it proved.

Bison snatched a vital lead, one which they held for the remainder of the period, on 5 minutes. And the scorer was Tigers’ old boy Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov. He received a pass from Kurt “The Scissors” Reynolds and pushed the puck into the corner or maybe Kurt himself put it there (not sure about that one). Anyway Karpov scrapped for it with a Tigers player and took possession. He was now clear with no-one to obstruct his path to goal. As he bore down on Tom Murdy in the Tigers’ net, his movement was hasty, in a hurry, lively and rapid. He executed a clever deke to bambozzle Murdy and slid the puck across the line. Honest Pete, goal judge at the far end, saw everyone in the Bison blocks were behaving like a load of joyous raving lunatics and his opposite number’s the goal light shining forth like a lighthouse beacon on a stormy night. He surmised it must be a goal and so it was. 1-0 Bison.

It was an early setback for the Tigers, but they weren’t going to roll over and have their tummies tickled. Far from it. They came on strong. Typical of their play occurred when they defended a power play after Peter Szabo tripped and took a trip to the box. They didn’t allow Bison a single shot in the 5 on 4 which ensued. By the end of the period they had outshot Bison by 13-6, but, as yet, had nothing to show for their efforts.

Was it going to be more of the same from the Tigers in P2? Yes it was and their persistence was finally rewarded in the 34th minute with a levelling score, just when it was looking like Dean “Deano” Skinns could not be beaten after a series of fine saves. Nobody dared mention the “S-word”, but, following one last Sunday at Peterborough, some must have been thinking “Could he?” Well alas for the Bison backers he couldn’t. After 99 minutes of stopping everything thrown at him by the Manchester Phoenix, the Peterborough Phantoms and the Telford Tigers, Deano was finally undone. Tigers’ skipper Silverthorne proved to be a thorn in the side of Bison as he set up Nathen Salem for a back door tap in. It was 1-1. Bison old boy Sammy Zajac was awarded the second assist.

A bizarre call was made as the period drew to a close. Long Ciaron Long and Blahoslav Novak, both wearing no. 89, came together in an untidy heap of 89s mid ice. Long Ciaron was clearly held as he tried to extricate himself from the tangle. When he finally did so, he was called for kneeing (strange one that) and Novak was called for holding (plain as a pikestaff that one). Into their respective institutes of penal reform went the 89s.

P2 came to a close and the Tigers had looked by far the stronger side from where I was sitting with my half empty glass. Nevertheless, Bison had managed to get their shots in and the shot count had been a surprising 9-9.

Was the game to be decided in P3? Well no, but not through lack of effort. On 47 minutes Andy “Machine Gun” Melachrino was cynically brought to the ice by a trip from Sammy Zajac when in on goal. The crowd became ugly. If their reaction had to be measured on a scale it would have been at the “purple throbbing vein” end of such a scale. Had the game been played under the disciplinary rules of the British Navy circa 1800, Zajac would have been given 50 lashes with the cat-o-nine-tails or even keelhauled. Fortunately it wasn’t and the much more civilised punishment imposed was 2 minutes in the box. Those amongst the Bison backers who had called for a penalty shot were disappointed.

However, before the Bison backers adopt a “holier than thou” stance, the same occurred, but in reverse, on 56 minutes. Scott McKenzie, sporting a beard so bushy that he is beginning to look like a cave man (or indeed Long Ciaron Long), was in on goal. Before he could get his shot away, he was brought down by the considerably less hirsute Rabbit’s Foot Joe Baird. A roar of protest erupted from the away fans. It would not be accurate to describe their mood as one of mild vexation. Far from it. They flew into a spleen venting spasm of convulsive proportions. Many of them must have been close to rupturing a blood vessel. “Penalty shot” they cried, but none was awarded. Had Joe been the infamous pirate Blackbeard, he may have been told by the referee, “You’ll hang from the highest yardarm for that.” Fortunately he wasn’t and the offence attracted merely a punishment of 2 minutes in the box.

The period ended in controversy. With seconds remaining the Tigers prosecuted a final attack, hoping to snatch victory. The clock ticked down. 3 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 second. The buzzer blared forth to mark the end of regular time. As suddenly as if some granny had driven her knitting needle into his left nostril, goal judge Honest Pete, who had had nothing to do in the game, both goals being scored at the other end, awoke with a start at the sound of the buzzer. As soon as he did, he saw the puck crossing the line. The Tigers players thought they had snatched it, but Honest Pete, when asked by Referee Cloutman, confirmed that the puck had crossed the line after the buzzer, and it was no score. Who would dare doubt Honest Pete’s integrity? None of us and not Clouts for sure.

At 1-1 at the end of regulation, we passed into overtime without the issue being decided. And so to the lottery of a penalty shoot out.

The Tigers were to shoot first and no.1 shooter was the cave man McKenzie. His clever deked failed to bamboozle Skinns and, once again Honest Pete’s goal light remained unilluminated. For Bison Lumberjack Joe Rand was to be their first shooter. He came in fast and ripped a snipe, a method which has borne him fruit in the past. On this occasion there were to be no apples or pears for Joe as Murdy saved. Peter Szabo was next for the Tigers. His shot thudded against Deano’s pad. He cheekily put in the rebound but, of course, it was no goal. Long Ciaron Long took Bison’s second. He bore down on goal drew Murdy to his right with a feint to take a forehand shot and then pushed the puck backwards, overskated it and reached behind with one hand on his stick to nudge it backhanded over the line. I think that’s what happened – Bison TV may prove me wrong. Suffice it to say it was an audacious effort. The goal light was on, but it wasn’t Honest Pete’s. He remained unemployed at the other end.

So, after 2 shots apiece and Bison leading 1-0, the Tigers final shooter had to score to keep them alive. That shooter was to be none other than former Bison favourite, Shoeless Joe Miller. The last time Joe took a penalty shot at Planet Ice was last season in his last game for Bison against the Dogs and it was a winner. Could he repeat the feat? Alas for Joe, Deano saved his effort and Honest Pete’s goal light remained unilluminated still. Bison had won it. Had there been present a happy horde of heartily hollering huntsmen from Huntingdon they would have blown their hunting horns, drained their stirrup cups and shouted “TALLY HO!” in celebration. But there wasn’t. Neither in attendance was there a number of nonsensical naysaying nincompoop non-entities named Nigel from Nantucket. Heaven knows what they would have done. But there was a bunch of boisterous Bison backers blissfully bellowing until blue in the face. It had been a hard fought victory against a top side.

Top Banana for the Tigers was netminder Murdy and the Bison award went to Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov. Many thought that Dean “Deano” Skinns would have been a more worthy recipient of the box of beers. With a save percentage of 97% in the game and 3 penalty saves in the shootout, he, with a little help from Tom Murdy, ensured that Honest Pete remained sadly unemployed.

Footnote : it was nice to see the Bearded Rabble Rouser of Block A in attendance last night. His absence on two occasions already this season has been noted and it is rumoured he will be summoned to the Headmaster’s study to explain himself in due course.

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