Swindon Wildcats 3 Bison 4
14/12/13
Anyone heard of
the great 1940s swing jazz, jump bluesman Louis Jordan? If not Youtube him –
he’s fun. Back in ’43 he recorded a song entitled “5 guys names Moe”.
Apparently they were the greatest band around and the talk of Rhythm. Well
Bison don’t have 5 guys named Moe but they do have 4 guys named Joe and last
night it was they who were the talk of, not Rhythm Town, but the Link Centre. Uncle
Joe Miller grabbed a hat-trick, Lumberjack Joe Rand and Cuddly Joe Miller
weighed in with 3 assists between them and Rabbits Foot Joe Baird, the most
superstitious man in the EPL, returning to his old stamping ground for the
first time, had another solid game on the blueline.
It was a pretty
even first period with Bison outshooting the Cats, clad in appropriately festive Santa
outfits (yes really), by 17-12. The visitors thought they had taken the lead in
the 3rd minute when Stonewall Stevie Lyle saved but couldn’t cover
and the puck was popped in after a scramble. The whistle sounded a fraction of
a second before the decisive moment. The referee might as well have been Mr.
Magoo because Lyle’s prostrate body was in the way and, from the other side, he
couldn’t see that the puck was still live. No goal. The Bespectacled Youth, a
close observer from the 2nd row, became very animated and indeed
agitated. “That was so loose”, he repeated several times at high volume, but to
no avail. The referee could not change his mind, even if he had wanted to, as
he had already blown up (I don’t mean in an explosive way of course). Bison’s
bad fortune turned to good fortune 3 minutes later when Jonas Hőőg hammered the
puck against the post, the familiar clunking sound bringing “oohs” and “ahs”
from the home fans and gasps of relief from the visiting ones.
On 8 minutes the
Cats’ Coach Aldridge had his collar felt for a hook. Doubtless, he was
contemplating how to pass the next 2 minutes banged up in solitary, but he
needn’t have worried because he was only incarcerated for 13 seconds as Bison
took advantage of the power play and bagged a goal. Marvelous Miroslav Vantroba
fired in a slap shot from the blue line. Lyle saved but couldn’t hold. A
scramble in front of the net ended when Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov poked in
from Cuddly Joe Greener. It was 1-0 Bison. Bliss! The Basingstoke backers in
the Bison block bubbled over boisterously.
The Cats
levelled it with a power play goal of their own on 13 minutes. Bison’s convict
was Michael “Muzzy” Wales, who is English, unlike Tottenham footballer of yesteryear,
Mike England, who is Welsh. Confused? Muzzy went down the steps for a holding
offence. Aku Pekkarinen, who is not Welsh, set up Adam Harding, who is. In came
the slap shot. Bison netman, Dean Skinns, had a perfect view of it and yet it
sailed in top shelf catcher side. Deano snapped his head backwards and clearly
thought he should have done better. It wasn’t so much a Dexy’s Midnight Runners
“Wo-oh-oh Geno”, but more a “Woe-oh-oh Deano.” However, he may have been being
a bit hard on himself. He certainly pulled off another great performance on the
night and stopped many efforts which lesser goaltenders would have let in. Deano
is not the biggest by any stretch of the imagination, certainly bigger than Warwick
Davies, but definitely smaller than Giant Haystacks. However, he is the living
proof that, as they say, size doesn’t matter. What he lacks in stature and bulk
he makes up for in agility and quick thinking.
We had to wait
until the mid point of the 2nd for another goal, scored again on the
power play. Ryan Watt hooked and was sent down for 2 minutes of penal
servitude, thankfully for Watty without hard labour. Bison skipper, Nicky Chinn,
set up Marvellous Miroslav Vantroba for a slap shot. The shot was waywardly
high. The covering Cats D-man tried to catch it but it bounced off his glove
straight to the point and into the path of Uncle Joe Miller, who hammered a
first time slap shot across Stevie Lyle and in at the far post. The goal caused
the spirits of the Cats faithful to plummet as quickly as a parachutist who had
forgotten to put on his parachute before exiting the plane. (OK strictly
speaking he can’t be accurately described as a “parachutist” if he has no
parachute). It was 2-1 Bison.
2 minutes later the
Cats levelled it with the first even handed goal of the game. A slapshot came
in and was deflected high into the air by Skinns. While the Bison backers were
still shouting “Great save!” and “By Jove!” and similar exclamations, the puck
fell to a marauding Cats forward who hammered it in for 2-2. I was convinced it
was Jan Kostal who scored, but the goal was given to Hőőg with assists to
Kostal and Aldridge. You might just as well have Mr. Magoo telling you about
the game really.
2-2 at the
buzzer and all to play for in the 3rd. The period was to be dominated
by Bison, firing in 16 on target shots against 8, as the short benched Cats
began to tire. They snatched the lead for the 3rd time in the game
on 52 minutes. The move had the artistic qualities of a Marcel Marceau mime,
but thankfully the Bison players didn’t have flowers sticking out of the tops
of their helmets. It was a tic-tac-toe goal for the connoisseurs to savour – “a
pretty goal” said the Bearded Rabble Rouser of Block A, sitting in Block E. Lumberjack
Joe Rand fired a cross ice pass from the boards to the back door where Cuddly
Joe Greener fired a one timer back across the goal and into the path of Uncle
Joe Miller. Joe’s snap shot found the gap between Lyle and goal frame and it
was 3-2 Bison and 20 goals for the season for Joe.
On 55 minutes
Bison scored again. The architect of the goal was the Twinkle Toes Tomas Karpov,
once described by Nicky Chinn as “a quick little bugger”. The skating and stick
handling skills of the Czech “Grandmaster” are frequently breath-taking. 1930s
bluesman Robert Johnson reputedly sold his soul to the Devil in return for
insane guitar playing skills. Observing the way Karpov plays makes me wonder
whether he had done the same in return for insane skating and stick handling
skills. Let’s hope not. On this occasion, fed by Aaron “Billy” Connolly, he
wriggled and jiggled, fiddled and juggled, struggled and smuggled his way
through the D with sleight of hand and fleet of foot, but was forced behind the
goal. He powered on, swung out the other side and then fired a slide rule pass
to an incoming Uncle Joe Miller. The one timer finish was not only on the
button, but also on the money and on the nose. It was 4-2 Bison and a hat-trick
for Uncle Joe. (By the way anyone who says that Joe Miller would be giving less
than his all since his January move to Telford was finalised obviously hasn’t
been to the games. There is no lack of effort from Joe – he is as committed as
he ever was and his well deserved hat-trick to add to his impressive season’s goal
haul illustrated the point. By my calculations Joe needs only one more goal to
reach the landmark of 80 for Bison in only 2½ seasons - a phenomenal scoring
record by any standards. I am sure he will leave at the end of the month with
the good wishes of all at Planet Ice for what he has done for the team, the
goals he has scored and the games he has won).
A bizarre
incident then occurred. A Cats player got his stick stuck in one of the rink
doors. He had to let go as he skated by or the stick would have broken. The
stick remained upright and waggled back and forth. The game continued with the
stranded stick sticking out from the rink wall and looking forlorn. At the next
break the referee took possession. He then appeared to have an attack of schizophrenia,
in that he thought he was someone else. First of all he thought he was a player
because he held the stick in such a way that it looked as if he was going to
join the play. Then he thought he was Fatima Whitbread as he hurled the stick
like a javelin onto the bench endangering the safety of the Cats’ back up
goalie, Michael Crisp. Perhaps he should have called himself for “spearing” and
sent himself to the box where he could have thought he was now Reggie Kray.
To the
pessimists amongst the Cats faithful it looked all over at 2-4 to the bad. Time
to get out their “The End is Nigh” sandwich boards. The optimists, on the other
hand, were confident that their team could come back to win the game. In the
end it was the sandwich board brigade who were vindicated. The “End” had indeed
been “Nigh” as predicted. However, it was far from done and dusted, as only a
minute later the Cats bagged another to make it a one goal game again. The goal
scored by Jan Kostal with assists from Pekkarainen, who, as I mentioned before, is not Welsh, and Symonds, who is, was cloaked in
controversy. The shot from a tight angle hit a part of the goal frame and flew
away. Was it the bar? Was it the back stanchion? After consulting the goal
judge and his linesmen, as well as hearing conflicting representations from a
gaggle of players, the referee decided it was a good goal and the scoreboard
clicked on to 3-4.
Could the Cats
snatch a 4th and take the game into overtime or even a 4th
and a 5th to win the game in regulation? It was a tense final 4 minutes. The clock
ticked agonisingly down. With less than a minute to go the signal was given for
Stonewall Stevie to leave his net to allow a 6th skater to come on.
However, just as he was on his way, Bison retook possession and he had to go
back and make a save. With 6 seconds remaining Rand was called for a hook and it
became a 6 on 4, but to no avail. Had Huddie Ledbetter (Google him) been
standing by he would have burst into a rendition of “Goodnight Irene” at this
stage. Alas he died in 1949 and couldn’t be present, so the fat lady had to
sing it instead. It had been a close encounter peppered with exciting moments, but, unfortunately for the Swindon Santas, lacking in Christmas cheer.
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