Reynolds Bags an Overtime Winner to Snatch the Points for Bison

Bison 3 Guildford Flames 2 (OT)

12/9/15

On Friday Ryan “You What” Watt underwent an amazing metamorphosis. Kurt “The Scissors” Reynolds cut off his long locks of 2 years’ growth for donation to the Little Princess Trust (their main aim is to provide real-hair wigs for children who have suffered hair loss through poor health), and raised a lot of money in the process. A fantastic gesture from the man who no longer resembles the Wild Man of Borneo. But were we going to see the Sampson effect on Watty? Not on you nellie. He produced a typical gritty, determined battling performance, not to mention a goal and an assist and it was fitting that these two players combined to bag the winning overtime goal.

The 1^st period started well for the hosts and they snatched the lead on 10 minutes. Bison skipper Aaron “Billy” Connolly combined with Tomas “Grandmaster” Karpov on the left wing centre ice. Suddenly Kaprov speared a superb cross ice pass to the opposite wing. Before I proceed any further with a description of the goal I must ask if you believe in conspiracy theories? JFK, 911, the Moon landing and all that? Well for a conspiracy to happen there has to be secret communication between two or more people. There was clearly no conspiracy of any sort in the Flames defence, as I saw no evidence of communication, secret or otherwise, at all. The right hand didn’t seem to know what the left was doing let alone talking to it in a conspiratorial fashion. Why? Because there was no-one at all to challenge Shaun “The Sheep” Thompson as he skated in over the blue line. He lifted his stick and slapped the puck low and true through Rockman’s less than rock solid form. 1-0 Bison.

The Flames started to give as good as they got as the period wore on and levelled it on 15 minutes. A slick passing movement down the middle was finished off by Jens Eriksson, who found a gap between Hiadlovsky and the goal frame. There were no voting forms involved. It was not an election, but a dictatorial declaration by the referee that Matic Kralj and Matt Towe should be awarded assists for the goal. 1-1.

With 1:04 of the period remaining Bison were handed a power play opportunity as Jez Lundin clattered into the back of Tomas Karpov. It was a case of one strike and you’re out for the strike down. There was no point in Lundin threatening to go on strike. He was forced to strike a path to the penalty box. Strike a light! Could Bison strike gold with the power play? Alas no and with only 10 seconds remaining they lost a man themselves, not overboard, but to the house of correction where dwelt the aforementioned miscreant Lundin. Marvellous Miroslav Vantroba was adjudged guilty of roughing. “You think that was within the rules?” asked the referee. “I should flippin’ co-co.” So off to the slammer went the follically challenged blueliner to join his nefarious opponent in a spot of contrite reflection. The 4 on 4 produced no reward for either side nor did the minute of Flames power play early in the 2^nd when Lundin emerged from the box, doubtless a reformed character.

However, only a minute or so later Bison retook the lead on 22 minutes. Karpov carried the puck forward and fluffed his shot, but kept possession. He turned back and fired an inch perfect cross ice pass into the path of Marvellous Miroslav Vantroba, who was steaming in over the blue line as if there was no tomorrow. Perhaps he thought there wasn’t going to be a tomorrow, but, if he did, he was mistaken, clearly so as you are reading this report today, it having been posted up tomorrow, which today of course is today, but would have been tomorrow yesterday. Confused? I am. Marvellous Miro fired in a slapshot which was going wide until Ryan “You What?” Watt diverted it towards the net. What happened next? Let’s not hold back, pull our punches, be diplomatic, hide our light behind a bushel, employ euphemisms or let him off the hook. Flames’ netman Gregg Rockman’s efforts to keep the puck out on this occasion can only be described as shocking and surely short of what was required. As confirmed to me by Laura the Explorer, a close observer of the incident, he jammed his stick down and only succeeded in sweeping the puck into the net rather than away from it. It was an Oooo Betty moment for Rocky, a goal for Watty and an assist each to Bison’s eastern Europeans. 2-1 Bison.

At the half way point in the period and indeed the game, as indeed such are coincidental, the Flames had a superb opportunity to get back on level terms. A defence splitting pass saw Eriksson in on goal. He raced over the blue line and was shaping up to shoot when goaltender Tomas Hiadlovsky produced an extraordinary diving poke check to knock the puck off his stick. Eriksson must have been as shocked as a man who had just had an iron dropped on a protruding part of his anatomy. (Big toe was what I had in mind. I am not sure what you were thinking of). The save brought gasps of admiration, appreciation, adoration and approbation from the Bison backers and groans of dismay, disenchantment, disillusion and disappointment from the Flames’ fans. 2-1 it remained and there were no more goals in the period.

Into the 3^rd we passed. The balance off play shifted towards the visitors, but they could not find a way past Hiadlovsky who continued to stop everything shot at him – we were quickly acquiring the impression that he could have stopped a bullet. He even have time to go on a few heart stopping walkabouts under pressure behind his net to confidently shoot the puck around the boards or pass it out inch perfect to a team mate. The clocked ticked down and Bison backers were wondering whether their team could hold out against a determined Flames team who were having the better of the final period. And indeed the visiting icemen got their reward with 5 minutes remaining. Successive shots from Matic Kralj and Ben Campbell were kept out by Hiadlovsky, but he could not block the third by Kevin Phillips. 2-2 and all to play for.

And so with no further scoring in regulation time we passed into a period of overtime with the new rules of 3 on 3 and only one import on the ice at any one time. Coach Sheppard decided to retain Hiadlovsky in goal and why wouldn’t he – the netman had had a superb game characterised by that spectacular diving poke check to foil Eriksson, as mentioned above. This meant that all 3 of their skaters had to be British. This should not present a problem as Bison have arguably the strongest in depth British roster contingent in the EPL.  This was the crowd’s first taste of 3 on 3 and very nerve wracking it proved to be with so much space on the ice and every opportunity to get caught with trousers down. And trousers were caught down, but, much to the delight of the Bison backers, Bison trousers remained up and it was Flames trousers which were caught down, as I shall relate, dear reader.

Bison’s third line change resulted in a 3 man line of Baird, Reynolds and Watt, which looked a trifle defensive. Not the case as it proved. Watt scrapped for the puck and gained possession in mid ice. He fired it across the ice to a marauding Reynolds, skating forward over the blue line and in on goal. Kurt “The Scissors” was so far forward some thought there was a danger of him passing out in the rarefied atmosphere of his opponents’ defensive zone, an area he frequents infrequently. However, he retained his consciousness and, as he bore down on goal, goaltender Rockman must have been seized with paroxysms of anxiety, his mind awash with unuttered rhetorical questions concerning the outcome of the encounter, the most important of which must have been "can I keep the puck out?" Alas for Rocky the answer to the question was no. Kurt “The Scissors” skated in and roofed the puck for the winning goal. The party of fishermen from Grimsby in Block F wanted to break into song to celebrate the goal, but they couldn’t make up their minds between “Swing low sweet halibut”, “Sweet sole music”, “If I had a haddock” and “Over the Rainbow Trout” so they remained silent. (Cod Almighty I’ve gone off on a red herring there). Never mind them, the Bison backers lifted the roof. The fat lady was belting it out and the points were in the bag.

And so it came to the award of the Man of the Match or rather Men of the Match beers. Ben Campbell was elected Top Banana for the Flames and for Bison. For me Tomas Hiadlovsky was the stand out performer for Bison, but it was Tomas Karpov who sniped the alcoholic beverages. There is no doubt, however, that the Slovak stonewall stopper will receive many MoM awards before the season is over.