Bison 4 Steatham Redhawks 3 (OT)
3/11/18
This was a
cracking encounter, between two very evenly matched teams, swinging one way,
then the other, then back again with the game being decided by an overtime
clapper from Coach Ashley Tait. As I have told you about the game in one
sentence, there is no need for you to read any further. However, should you
wish to avail yourself of the details of the proceedings, feel free to read on.
On 7:46 Bison snatched
a go ahead goal. The puck flew high into the air after a clash of sticks.
Unsurprisingly it began to fall to earth, just as Sir Isaac Newton would have
predicted. Doc Russ Cowley caught it, dropped it and kicked it into the path of
Dangling Dick Bordowski. The Czech chap took off up the right wing. He hammered
forward with electric pace, the arena lights glinting off his skate blades like
the Sun’s rays off the chrome bumper of a ’57 Chevy (see below). In the
meantime, Doc Cowley had not behaved as a laggardly sluggard. No indeed no
couch potato was he as he also hammered forward and was there on the doorstep to
receive the from the wing pass. Lumber hit rubber and the puck flew past a
despairing Damien King in the Redhawks’ net. 1-0 Bison.
On 14:03 Danny
Ingoldsby crossly checked someone and was called for a cross check. In the
ensuing 5 on 4 the Redhawks worked the puck well to set up a chance for Scott
Bailey. He looked certain to score until Adam Jones pulled off an Ooo Mr.
Rigsby stick lift to deny him the chance. And seconds later a disaster on the
scale of the eruptions of Vesuvius and Krakatoa combined occurred. The Redhawks
conceded a short handed goal. It’s easy for me to say, but I’m sure every coach
would agree, you should never concede a short handed goal. It’s almost as bad
as conceding an even handed goal to a team of one armed men.
Rupert Quiney
was in possession mid ice. He hesitatingly hummed and hared, hemmed and hawed
until it was too late. Dangling Dick Bordowski pounced like a hungry praying
mantis attacking a stick insect. The Czech chap pilfered the puck and as a result
of the ignominious happenstance of dispossession Quiney found himself devoid of
twig and, therefore, emasculated as an effective D-man, but, thankfully for
him, not in any other meaning of the word. Dangling Dick’s dispelled dalliance,
dithering and dilly-dallying. His determined direct dash dumbfounded the
desperately defeated D. It was an odd man rush of 2 on 1 with Doc Cowley in
support. The latter was not required as the Czech chap rifled the puck into the
top corner. Had the net not been there the puck would have flown all the way to
the Czech Republic. 2-0 Bison and cruising. What could possibly go wrong? Well
actually everything. Read on, dear reader, notwithstanding that the following
paragraphs may be painful to read, should you be of Bison orientation.
P1 ended. It had
been a very even period, but it was the homesters who had got the goals. Could
the men from the Smoke step up a gear in P2? Yes they could and put in a fantastic
performance, outshooting Bison by 14-8 and bagging 3 goals without reply. The
first came on 22:15 with an odd man rush. Scott Bailey fired across to the back
door where Tom Beesley beat a sliding Alex “Mittens” Mettam. 2-1. Oh dear.
On 26:51 Adam
Jones went down the steps for tripping and then on 28:21 Tom “Wreck-it” Ralph
had his collar felt for cross checking. With only 5 seconds of the resultant 5
on 3 remaining it was all square as Alex Roberts’s shot was saved by Mettam
only for Leigh Jamieson to fire the rebound into an open net. 2-2. Ooo Betty.
On 33:01 the visitors grabbed a 3rd goal to turn
the game completely on its head. This time it was Adam Wood who smacked in a
deflected shot from Jamieson. 2-3 Redhawks. Oh bloody.
I am sorry you
had to read the last 3 paragraphs, dear Bison reader. I feel your pain. But let
your spirits be uplifted. Going forward there is nothing bad to report, unless
you feel that a declaration that P2 ended is something that may have you racing
for the Prozac. P2 ended.
So it was all to
play for. Could the Redhawks snatch a 4th goal to kill off the
comeback hopes of Bison? Well no they couldn’t. The pendulum of play swung
completely the other way with Bison outshooting the Redhawks by 13-7 and
finally snatching the levelling score on 43:39. But I jump ahead. Let us return
to 42:04. Leigh Jamieson, tussled with Michal Klejna on the boards. An
unsavoury embroilment of the most unseemly variety ensued and the former was
called for roughing on the latter. Then on 43:09 James Warman executed an
extraordinary pirouette/puck scoop and the biscuit flew high into the air and
over the glass. Initially it looked as if nothing had been called, but
eventually Ref Hewitt said to the hapless Warman “You’re going up the river for
that, me old china. You’ve delayed my game.” Down the steps into the can and
behind the metaphorical bars went the unfortunate fellow. 5 on 3 to Bison then.
Could they make it pay? Yes they could, but alas not with a humdinger to write
home about, but rather a scrappy effort which you wouldn’t want to write about
at all. You wouldn’t, but I will. Jones was set up by Coach Tait for the shot
from the hash marks. Alas his slap shot was an inadvertent aberration. Instead
of flying into the net as the Bison backers were hoping, it moved gastropodally
(OK that’s not a real word but is derived from the word gastropod and means sluggishly
in case you’re wondering) along the ice to George “Gordon” Norcliffe, who
deflected it, but failed to add any pace to the biscuit, which then moved in a loiteringly
lethargic, leisurely and lackadaisical manner across the goal line, causing
goaltender King to curse his luck that he hadn’t been able to stop a trickler.
Had Carmen Miranda been present and a Bison fan she would have thrown her hat into the air, almost certainly with most disagreeable consequences. 3-3
P3 ended and we
had 3 on 3 overtime to look forward to. That session began and 1:26 in disaster
struck Bison. Referee Hewitt held up 4 fingers and 2 thumbs indicating too many
men on the ice, whereas, more accurately he should have held up 4 fingers and
never mind the thumbs as there should have been only 3 men on, but with the
extra man there were 4. Perhaps he couldn’t count. Let’s not split hairs. Bench
penalty to Bison. “We’ve had it now,” was the expert opinion offered by the Man
in the Charlestown Chiefs shirt, but what does he know? Very little I’m told.
Bison hadn’t had it at all. They defended stoutly with Mettam making a couple
of monumental stops in quick succession to save the homesters bacon. The
penalty clock ticked down to zero and Sam Smith, who had taken the punishment
for the penalty was suddenly paroled and, springing from his gloomy dungeon,
joined the action. 13 seconds later it was the Redhawks who had had their
chips, as a cracker of a clapper from Coach Tait saw them slump to an
ignominious oblivion.
Tom “Wreck-it”
Ralph fed the puck out of defense to Michal Klejna, who in turn fired forwards
to Coach Tait. The latter advanced over the blue line. “That’s far enough,”
thought the coach. “I think I’ll have a slap from here.” He raised his stick
high into the air and brought it down in a long sweeping arc. The stick hit the
ice just behind the puck, bent and restraightened (I could clearly see that
from Block C Row F of course), sending the aforementioned biscuit rocketing
past King’s head almost knocking off his crown and into the net, which bulged
as a consequence. As the puck fell to the ice in accordance with Newton’s
theory of gravity, the goal light blazed forth and it was game over.
Top Bananas were
elected. Leigh Jamieson was considered to have been the most outstanding
Redhawk and Coach Tait received the Bison accolade.
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